I suppose I can see the attraction – for the overachieving type, anyway – of working on the train. All those empty minutes with nothing to do but read or stare out the window when you could be haranguing your secretary over the phone to the entertainment of the entire train, or reading documents marked ‘Top Secret and Confidential’ (I once got half way through an East Enders script over somebody’s shoulder before they noticed). I think the guy on the train this evening was taking it a little far though. It wasn’t just his open laptop taking up half the seat space – it was the thermos flask and the precariously balanced cup of coffee on his knee. There’s such a thing as making yourself too much at home – or at office – on the train. Still, at least he drew the line at setting up his in-tray, his pen holder and his furry gonk.
Meanwhile I was battling with another question of crowded train etiquette. If the woman sitting across from you has crossed her legs, and has done it in such a way that the toe of her pointy shoe (no desert boots, these) is nudging your calf in a rather too friendly (but probably entirely unconscious) fashion, what do you do? Ignore it and tie yourself into a reef knot in the corner to try and get away as I did? Nudge back lasciviously? Or – gasp – say something?
Answers on a postcard please.
Disgruntled Commuter 
Hmm? Let’s see…. If she’s nice gently nudge her to politely indicate, otherwise let her know in no uncertain terms that you do not appreciate her pointed proximity.
That’s what I’d LIKE to do. What I WOULD do, is sit there tutting to myself and do little else bar retreat! Sorry I can’t help
It depends how grumpy I’m feeling – I have been known to kick people…
Yeah, that was me – sitting there thinking ‘you know, I should just say something she doesn’t even know she’s doing it’, and meanwhile cravenly retreating further and further into the corner.
Oops Katja, missed your comment. You weren’t sitting on the 5:30 Hounslow to Waterloo train in pointy shoes this evening were you?
Sorry to be pedantic but no document can properly be marked ‘Top Secret and Confidential’Not even an East Enders script. But you never know with these arty farty Medja types. (TS and C being different grades of a 5 tier securityclassification) Unless of course it was an Al Qaida operative. Their security is excellent but their bureaucracy a bit lax.
Huttonian – I did wonder a bit why the Queen Vic was due to be blown up by a leopard-skin clad jihadi … that explains it.
Not this evening, Disgruntled, no. I was on the Metropolitan line instead…
Only she did look a bit grumpy and she was definitely kicking … but I’m sure you’re far more glamorous, even on the metropolitan line – the train that takes you back into the fifties …
Er, a boot in your shin is never going to be a come on, so just move your leg.
As we were both of the female persuasion I didn’t really think it was … but I kept moving my leg until I ran out of room to move it to, and still she kept nudging. Just a subtle variation on space invasion, I suspect …
lean forward, remove her pointy shoe, throw it to the other end of the carriage. While she’s off retrieving it, take up the room you deserve. You could also throw the shoe out of the window but you wouldn’t then she wouldn;t run after it and you wouldn;t be able to make yourself comfortable.
If it were me accidently kicking someone, I wouldn’t mind if they said (nicely) I’m really sorry, but your shoe keeps catching my leg. I’d be a bit embarrassed but I’d be genuinely sorry and would sit differently. (she may have hought that bit of reisistance she could feel was a table leg or seat or something)
if it were me being kicked, I’d mve my leg closer and make it obvious “this is a living person’s leg and no table leg. I might also (if it really bothered me) say something to the effect of the above.
(spam says Unfal, which is remarkably close to the German word for accident)
Cookie – I am liking the shoe throwing idea a lot. I should say that there was no table or any reason why she couldn’t see her foot poking my leg except that she wasn’t looking.
But I think my new year’s resolution should be to start telling people on trains when they’re in the way or being annoying instead of burning with silent embarrassed resentment. It will make me feel a complete prat, but think of the blogging potential..
Bloody well say something. Too many people invade our space,