Poetry Please

Discussing where to meet with Huttonian the other day, we settled on St. Pancras. Not at the statue of the giant snoggers, I pleaded, but at John Betjeman’s instead. You do wonder what the late laureate makes of his new surroundings

St Pancras Towers and drifting litter
Cans of ale, discarded Bitter,
teetering through on way to Pinner
Elspeth has a date for dinner
Eyes averted from the Snoggers
Groping Giants are not her thing….

etc etc : Summoned By Balls by J.Betjeman (Attrib)*

But this raises one glaring omission. If anything this hideous had been foisted on the people of Dublin it would immediately have gained a derisive nickname along the lines of the tart with the cart, or the floozie in the jacuzzi. What equivalent is there for these two? Are Londoners so beaten down by bad monumental art that they won’t even bother to mock it? I’ve been thinking long and hard for something both pithy and dismissive and didn’t get much beyond the wankers of St. Pancras, which doesn’t really rhyme and isn’t strictly accurate either. Has anybody got any better suggestions? Or will it just be the giant snoggers after all?

* Or possibly Huttonian, channelling his shade.


6 responses to “Poetry Please

  1. What is wrong with the public transport (Lunnon) blogging community? A reference to a bag hovering over a seat attracts numerous comments but an erudite, literary and important post of interest to anyone who cares about public art attracts no comment whatsoever! I is of course early days and the weather is miserable, but really London bloggers this is just not good enough. If you don’t stand up and be counted the public art terrorists from Gormley to Gombean will carry the day claiming public support. It only remains for good people to be silent……

  2. You’re just sulking because nobody’s admired your poem yet …

  3. Thousands have but none south of the Tweed

  4. Well, I admire your JB spoof, far better than the one in Private Eye! If you write a second verse, perhaps a few trade names?

    Tony, south of the Trent..

  5. I’ll pass the request on to Huttonian

  6. The first thing that struck me was “the osculation at the station”, but that isn’t mocking, it’s just a little bit pretentious.

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