And it wasn’t even the Quiet Coach

Looking up from my paper this evening I randomly caught the eye of the girl across the aisle who was talking briskly and a little volubly into her phone. In truth, up until then I had barely registered her conversation, but the effect on her was immediate and electric. Putting her hand over her mouth, she stopped speaking for almost a minute and then, mortified, said in a stage whisper into her phone ‘I was talking too loud’. She cringed back into the furthest seat and completed her call in an undertone, as quickly as she could.

It would appear I have inadvertently perfected my Commuter Death Stare. Now all I need to do is find a more worthy victim to unleash it on…


9 responses to “And it wasn’t even the Quiet Coach

  1. this i must see. a friend of mine can do mrs thatcher eyes – truly terrifying. you have a gift – go forth and use it! (i’d like to email you about something – could you get in touch with me, plz?)

  2. Yes, but does anyone see the Commuter Death Stare and live to tell the tale?

    Can your friend do the one mad eye and the one slightly less mad eye?

  3. Come, help me please! Teach me the stare! Or better, travel with me and melt some people with it!

  4. this made my day, this and finding a bus in the morning I can actually get on without stopping to breathe.

  5. I don’t suppose you fancy popping over to Liverpool Street Station one day during rush hour, standing on one of the walkways overlooking the concourse and turning the Commuter Death Stare on…well….everyone 😀

  6. Could you come to my office to do this to the inconsiderate people who do this all round the building? Please…

  7. I think I’ll have to charge out the Death Stare at so much per person zapped, or a special hourly rate for long journeys

  8. the one mad eye and the one slightly less mad eye is a refinement few can even dream of achieving. truly you are a master of your art. xx

  9. Hmm well see today’s post … there are limits even to my powers

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