Flying Low

I’m sure I can’t be the only London commuter who’s transfixed by the flashing judge case. It’s not so much the nature of the offence, it’s the reported reaction – or lack of reaction – of his fellow commuters that’s got me fascinated. The arresting officer said ‘It would be a very extraordinary thing to do, to have walked on to a crowded commuter rail service with one’s penis hanging out. If that had happened I would have expected somebody to point it out’ – but that just goes to show how little he travels on the trains. Would you have pointed it out? Or would you, as the witness herself claims she did, decide simply to pretend nothing was happening, to avoid drawing attention to him because it might have been an accident? I’d have thought that if he did have his zip undone by mistake, the kindest thing would be to let him know, before anyone else noticed, but I can sympathise with the whole burying-ones-head-in-the-sand – or in this case, the newspaper – reaction to a flasher.

I like to think I’d have said something if it happened to me, but I’m not sure I would. I know I wouldn’t have had the presence of mind to get my camera out and take a photo. But I do know one thing – I’d have rushed home and blogged about it straight away. Do you think that would stand up in court?


8 responses to “Flying Low

  1. It could still be awkward for His Honour if it did stand up in court. Plenty of witnesses there

  2. I’d have been torn (and not because he has always been a pleasant tribunal to appear in front of) but because I would have had to call him “My Lord” whilst asking him to tuck his todger away and that might have given him the wrong idea.

  3. Moobs – surely there’s some handy latinate legal phrase you would use while requesting a senior member of the judiciary un-expose himself on a train? (and doesn’t it strike you as odd that when a man gets his John Thomas out in public, it’s referred to as ‘himself’ ?)

    Huttonian – I’m sure there are more and worse puns that could have been made, but I couldn’t think of any …

  4. for a long time now i have not worn any underpants.

    one day i put on a pair of old jogging bottoms and went up the road to catch the bus into town.

    i sat down and after a while i looked down at my lap and to my horror saw that the seam had split down my front and my balls were hanging out.

    to make matters worst i was on a park&ride bus which in oxford have a lot of the seats facing each other, i looked up and saw an elderly lady looking accross at me. i just got up and got off at the next stop.


  5. Walking up a busy shopping street on a sunny saturday afternoon. As I walked past a bus shelter (out of service) a man fell into step along side me, alternately beaming into my face and looking meaningfully downwards, towards where he was doing something quite energetic with his bits. Totally astounded I carried on walking and as we got to the the other end of the bus shelter he turned and faded back into the shade. I carried on walking a few more paces, my legs on autopilot while my brain tried and failed to come up with a rational explanation.

    I stopped and looked around but no one seemd to have noticed, and the only thing that was getting attention was my gasping and squeaking outrage. I can still scarcely believe it now.

    A flasher on the way to our school was asked by a more confident member of the target group of 16 year old girls if he was bragging or complaining…..

  6. John – possibly too much information there…

    arundel – it seems like the judge’s mistake (if indeed he did what is claimed) was to target the same victim twice. The first time she was too stunned to do or say anything, the second time she whipped out her phone …

  7. Bring back hanging!

    I hadn’t seen the story until I read your blog, Then I watched Sky news at the gym.

    It was obvious that the judge was going to get off, or at the very least not do any time. All judges stick together. I just hope the next person he flashes calls his dick off with a knife, just for evidence.

    I also enjoyed george Bush getting his watch nicked,,70141-1270243,00.html

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