Thanks a Bunch

There’s not a lot a guard can say to make things better on a very crowded train, after the preceding train has been cancelled ‘due to a fault on the train which could not be rectified’. He can apologise, which is nice, I suppose, and is certainly better than not apologising. He can urge people to move right down inside the cars, which would be helpful if anyone ever did such a thing. Or he can try tempting people off the train by claiming, as we lumber into Putney, that there’s another 8-car uncrowded train just three minutes behind us – he may even have been telling the truth, but we’ve all been had that way before and nobody was buying it. And there are some things he can say which simply make things worse. Such as cheerfully announcing that the train now overtaking on the outside rail is in fact the broken-down train that was the architect of all our misery in the first place. Just in time – if we unwedge our faces from our neighbours’ armpits and peer past the crowd – to see it gliding past us with all its lovely empty seats looking not very defective at all…

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One response to “Thanks a Bunch

  1. That is definitely rubbing very salty rock salt well into the wound.

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