Confusion as Usual

Oh there were fun and games at the station at Vauxhall this morning. When I got to the entrance there was an ominous message up on the screens about a power cut but they quickly replaced that with another message about the weekend engineering works because it’s obviously a lot more urgent to tell people about the trains they aren’t going to be able to get on Sunday than to let them know about the trains they might be able to get today. The announcer on platform 8 was blaming a broken down train on the platform (until it underwent a miraculous recovery and chugged away, after which they fell back on the vague (but undeniable) ‘problem at Vauxhall’) and sent everyone over from there to platform 3. This at least meant we platform 3 bods were able to get a good close up look at them (the platform 8 people still wear suits to work … what’s that about?) but didn’t get them much closer to their destination because their trains were actually running from Clapham Junction. So the platform 3 station assistant stepped into the information breach and emerged from his hidey-hole to answer their questions, an easier task than it might at first seem because in this situation there’s only one answer to any of them, especially after you’ve stopped listening to the questions:

‘How do I get to Wimbledon?’
‘Take the train to Clapham Junction and change there.’
‘How do I get to Kingston/New Malden/Southampton/Portsmouth/San Jose?’
‘Take the train to Clapham Junction and change there.’
‘Excuse me, can you tell me where the toilets are?’
‘Take the train to Clapham Junction and change there.’

Actually, now I come think about it there are no toilets at Vauxhall. So maybe that last was the right answer after all …


2 responses to “Confusion as Usual

  1. What makes me laugh are the customers who ask for a specific destination say Kings Cross or Liverpool Street, as soon as they walk off, the next customer who is standing near by and can clearly hear what I’m saying, asks exactly the same question.

  2. They’re hoping for the secret real answer to the question… you could always try suggesting they run very hard at the wall on platform 9 and 3/4 and see if that works…

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