Terminal Confusion


Well, I’m back – did you miss me? Two weeks of serious relaxation and NO COMMUTING were in danger of leaving me seriously gruntled but fortunately for you lot the flight home has undone all that. Why do we bother? I’m going back to having my hols in the back garden. After seven and a half hours in the refined torture that is the economy class seat I was ready to confess to pretty much anything. The US should forget extraordinary rendition and just send their villains via American Airlines. They’ll crack before the first mini-meal is chucked at them: ‘Beef or Chicken?’ ‘I did it, I masterminded the 9-11 attacks! I fund Al-Quaeda!’ *blank stare* ‘Beef or Chicken?’ …

Still, at least we made our connection. We’d made the foolish error of booking our flight via two different airlines. United into O’Hare, and then American Airlines to Heathrow. Wrong. United flies into O’Hare all right, into the United terminal of O’Hare, terminal 2. Once ‘deplaned’ (almost as painful as it sounds) we looked around for where we should go to catch our next flight. Signs pointed us to many different terminals and concourses, but nowhere told us which one might be the one we needed. The departure boards showed only United departures. There was no other information. Finally someone asked us if we needed any help and we explained our dilemma. She looked puzzled. It appears that nobody in the history of manned flight has ever flown into O’Hare by United and then wanted to leave by American. A more senior person was consulted. Did our boarding card show our gate? It did not. We asked, hesitantly, which terminal American Airlines flights normally left from. There was a pause. The senior person and the junior person looked blank. No, they didn’t know that. Why should they? This was United. This was where all the United flights left from. We left them and wandered on, hoping for enlightenment or a smoking area, whichever was sooner.

Finally, we rounded a corner and found an abandoned Travelers’ Aid booth. We leaned over and consulted the secret map of Where Flights Leave From. American Airlines – terminal 3. Just, handily, round the corner from terminal 2.


2 responses to “Terminal Confusion

  1. Even better, at Miami Airport, Jamaica Airlines ask you to “deplane de plane”. Welcome back.

  2. Nice one. A bit like beginning the Beguine, presumably

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