Particularly if you’re in South Kensington, in the tunnel that leads down to the museums. Normally you can more or less rely on the pigeons to get out of your way rather than vice versa, but yesterday there was one that seemed determined to fly straight into me. I ended up having to do a rather undignified ducking flappy avoidance manouevre if I didn’t want to get a faceful of one of London’s finest. I thought it was just that they treat that tunnel as their own personal racetrack and didn’t want to get out of the way for any pesky humans. But then I read this, and now I’m not so sure.
If they are deploying their remote controlled attack pigeons in London, they may not want to fly them too low in future. I passed another pigeon this evening that was not so much a pigeon as a flat pigeon-shaped patch of feathers on the tarmac. Again, usually the birds get out of the way of the cars eventually, although they don’t bother for bikes. But possibly this time, somewhere in Beijing, someone was shouting ‘no no no, left paddle to take off, you idiot! Aargh!’ as thousands of pounds worth of pigeon-control technology got squashed by the school run. I hope they were insured.