Beware the Low Flying Commie Pigeon Menace

Particularly if you’re in South Kensington, in the tunnel that leads down to the museums. Normally you can more or less rely on the pigeons to get out of your way rather than vice versa, but yesterday there was one that seemed determined to fly straight into me. I ended up having to do a rather undignified ducking flappy avoidance manouevre if I didn’t want to get a faceful of one of London’s finest. I thought it was just that they treat that tunnel as their own personal racetrack and didn’t want to get out of the way for any pesky humans. But then I read this, and now I’m not so sure.

If they are deploying their remote controlled attack pigeons in London, they may not want to fly them too low in future. I passed another pigeon this evening that was not so much a pigeon as a flat pigeon-shaped patch of feathers on the tarmac. Again, usually the birds get out of the way of the cars eventually, although they don’t bother for bikes. But possibly this time, somewhere in Beijing, someone was shouting ‘no no no, left paddle to take off, you idiot! Aargh!’ as thousands of pounds worth of pigeon-control technology got squashed by the school run. I hope they were insured.

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6 responses to “Beware the Low Flying Commie Pigeon Menace

  1. We have the technology…it’s just that it doesn’t often work!

    Happy reading. You actually got two mentions in my BookBuffs World Book Day entry today.

  2. I can see these becoming ‘must have’ Christmas presents in a few years time.

  3. Flighty – thanks!

    Cha0tic – indeed. In fact, I want one already…

  4. They shoot pigeons in Beijing-when they have run out of sparrows that is. Simple ground to air technology at its most effective. Why make life complicated?

  5. All the pigeons have to go somewhere, being as Red Ken doesn’t want them in Trafalgar Square any more.

    No more Routemasters, More C charge zones, no pigeons …whats next?

  6. Huttonian – I don’t know, ask the Chinese, they started it

    LLD – Perhaps Ken’s driving over them, one pigeon at a time …

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