Three for the Price of One

I’ve been noticing that my blog entries have been a bit minimal of late. This is mainly due to the pain of typing with fingers that have only just been thawed out and detached from the handlebars of my bike after the ride home, and nothing at all to do with lack of blog material, oh no, not at all. So just to prove it, here’s a special bonus entry, typed with the blackened frostbitten stumps of my fingers, of three things I wanted to say to people recently, but haven’t had the chance.

To the guy remarking on the weather this morning to his colleague: the air this morning was not ‘fresh’. It has clearly been frozen for some time and only recently defrosted.

To the car driver who was attempting to alert pedestrians to his intention to turn left into the bit of the road that they were crossing at the time: next time, why don’t you try indicating first, and only hooting at them as a last resort? That way you won’t come across as a dangerous unmannerly boor.

To the guard who went through the train the other day and not only asked the guy who was on his mobile in the quiet coach to stop, but stood over him until he did: I wish to bear your children*

*To the other half: just kidding.


4 responses to “Three for the Price of One

  1. Reading this just makes me appreciate my warm gloves and cycle free commute even more .

    Its a real shame that guards can’t encourage people to not use mobile phones via the use of cattle prods, still, at least you found one willing to actually enforce the rules.

  2. Ah – the bike’s the best bit of the journey. But also the chilliest.

    I was amazed at the guard enforcing it because as I understood it, the ‘quiet coach’ signs are unenforceable and are just there to encourage people to be more considerate of each other. Still, who am I to complain (like that ever stops me)

  3. The idea of cattle prods isn’t new – however I prefer the idea of shooting them with a Taser guns, simlar to these I woul dshoot at the fare evaiders.

    Well done that man!

  4. Hmm – but wouldn’t the sound of the Taser shatter the contemplative calm of the quiet coach? Can you get one with a silencer?

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