Policeman Clop

Anybody got any idea why the police should have started patrolling the streets around Kennington on horseback? I was cycling home last night when I heard the merry clip-clop of hooves and saw two policepersons and their policebeasts meandering around the streets near our house. I was pleased to note that they had their high-visibility jackets on and the outermost rider was showing a red bicycle-type light on the back and a white one at the front (I bet they don’t get their light brackets pinched as often as I do) prompting the other half to ask whether they also stick a blue flashing light on their head when going at full gallop. Who knows. They certainly weren’t galloping last night. In fact what they were doing remains a mystery. We’re not much given to rioting in these parts, unless the ocado delivery is late, so it wasn’t crowd control. And it’s a bit dark and cold and far away from any tourist attractions for them to be there for the tourists. It could be Lambeth police’s contribution to reduced carbon emissions, I suppose. Or it could simply be that if you’re going to have to be out in this wintry weather, it’s better to do it on a nice warm horse.*

I did originally write ‘with a nice warm horse between your legs’ but it seemed somehow a bit lewd…  


7 responses to “Policeman Clop

  1. Maybe their bicycles were nicked…?

  2. Nik – by God, I do believe you’re right. You’d think even the police around here would be able to tell the difference between a horse and a bike though.

  3. What about methane emissions? It would be interesting to investigate the relative ozone depleting effects of police horse versus panda car…(of course the occupants of the panda car could also be emitting fairly large quantities of methane too…)

  4. I think the thing about methane is that they’re going to emit it anyway…

  5. All very well, but what about the wear on the road surfaces – those hoof makrs…

    As for the blue flashing light, maybe they’ve got ones with so sort of elastic strap that ifs over th ehorses’ head – you know similar to the magnetic one’s CID use one their cars. Perhaps they recycle the methane – isn’t that suppose to burn blue?

    PS – you opened a “twitter” account yet?

  6. You know, if a police horse came galloping after me with a blue flame of burning methane issuing out its rear end, I (and all the other local wildlife) would run like hell. Perhaps that’s the plan

    I’m resisting twitter. I waste far too much time on the internet as it is…

  7. If the horses have been fed on the wrong kind of oats there will be a dramatic increase in emissions

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