Now Look Here

I got up this morning to discover that my bike lights, inadvertantly left on my bike overnight, were still there. Not only that, but the neighbour’s Chelsea tractor was sitting there with its tailgate open and was also still there, unmolested, with all the junk in the back there too. And there’s been a bike in the Vauxhall underpass that has been stupidly locked up with the lock round the saddle post instead of through the frame so any scrote with a spanner could make off with it and that lasted two whole days. This is London, a proper world-class capital city, not some village in Dorset where everyone leaves their house unlocked and the worst thing the local kids get up to is scrumping. If this gets out we’ll be a laughing stock. The youth of today, I ask you. Just because it’s a little nippy out doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be out there raping and pillaging and hanging around smoking in bus stops. What do you think those hoods on your sweatshirts are for? Get a grip.

That is all.


9 responses to “Now Look Here

  1. It’s because of Halloween – they were too busy hanging around outside Tescos intimidating anyone trying to go in. No-one teaches multi-tasking any more.

  2. Rest assured that it’s a temporary aberration and won’t last.

    Have a good weekend.

  3. You put them straight!

    Now where was that bike?

  4. Flighty – thanks & the same to you

    AMP – it was gone this evening. Either its owner saw sense or the yoof managed to get it together long enough to nick a spanner

    Grunt – too true. Too busy taking citizenship classes, or something. Probably

  5. Unbelievable. Are you sure you didn’t camp out somewhere in a little village somewhere which had a replica of Vauxhall built? Or maybe their little teensy bodies hadn’t quite yet built up enough resistance to look cool in the cold without freezing their own arses off…

  6. Fear of freezing their arses off may well be the problem – I noticed this morning that the dangling trouser look is still in vogue & a pair of boxer shorts is no protection for the delicate buttock region in this weather…

  7. All good things go with the wind. Gruntfuttock is right. They can’t concentrate on more than one thing at a time. But now that they have found out the news, who knows, maybe that place won’t be as calm as you describe it. They can focus on some bikes from now on.


    Bouquets – Online Florist

  8. I live in Dorset and I’ve had 2 bikes nicked which was pretty well locked up… I’ve come to think the kids down here have so little to do they have probably become the best theives in the whole of the UK…..

  9. Or perhaps all the London kids have headed down to Dorset for a spot of rural bike nicking?

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