Flood Defences

Disgruntled Commuter’s Elephant & Castle correspondent reports that there is a flood in one of the underpasses coming out of the shopping centre and tube station. The council have responded by putting up a bunch of orange plastic barriers, the sort you get at roadworks, to prevent people from using it, and a sign saying ‘Flood’, which is helpful for people who – sorry, actually I can’t think of anyone for whom a sign marked ‘Flood’ would be helpful. Anyway, that hasn’t helped the good people of Elephant & Castle to get into and more importantly out of their shopping centre other than by going in a big circle round all the other underpasses or else sprinting across five lanes of traffic. So they’ve improvised. The barriers and the helpful sign have been pressed into service as duckboards and crossing the flood seems to have become some sort of a local sport. There’s even a man standing at the end timing people as they make the trip across. Sadly, our correspondent forgot to check what the current best time is, or whether he’d beaten it. But there’s probably still time to go out and see if you can set a new record before the council sort it out. In fact you’ve probably got all week.

On second thoughts, maybe it’s not a flood at all, but some sort of Olympic training facility. Never mind the triathalon – here comes the urban steeplechase.


9 responses to “Flood Defences

  1. That’s brilliant. I feel I owe it to your blog to head off to Elephant and Castle and record my time. However, I owe it to my children to stay at home and look after them. They win – sorry.

  2. Yeah, you’ll notice I didn’t go either. It’s cold out. Let the other half be the roving reporter for a change …

  3. If it gets cold enough it could be a new underground skating facility.

    How has Elephant and Castle survived so long without being destroyed by militant aesthetes?

  4. I don’t think militant aesthetes can get south of the river … an invisible force field generated by the turning of the London eye holds them back.

    Actually, now I come to think about it, this explains a lot about South London

  5. It’s as if God decided to repeat his diluvian party-piece. But, like the rest of us, he gave up at Elephant & Castle.

    You’re right about the London Eye, though.

  6. Ugh. The E&C. Without doubt *the* second most soul crushing place on the planet. Behind Las Vegas.

  7. Menace – I think you’ll find I’m right about everything.

    Geyvid – but can you get your family photographs badly printed onto a china plate in Las Vegas? I think the E&C has the edge on the city of sin when it comes to crap shopping opportunities

  8. There are actually plans to destroy the monstrosity. Its just a matter of when. E & C was the first shopping mall i encountered when i moved to England and horrifyingly, i still have some sentimental feelings towards it.

  9. Pingback: Splish Splosh Aargh! « Disgruntled Commuter

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