Following advice from our legal representatives, Dewey Cheetham and Howe, we would like to issue the following statement:
We now accept that the spider mentioned by the babe was not in fact an imaginary spider but was in fact an actual large hairy spider hovering a few centimetres above Disgruntled Commuter’s head. We further acknowledge that the babe was indeed acting in our best interests in pointing out said spider although the likelihood was that had we seen the spider we would have screamed like a girl and that, notwithstanding the presence of any arthopods imaginary or otherwise, babymother still had to turn right across approximately 17 lanes of London traffic and having her navigator screaming like a girl would not have helped in this endeavour.
We would like to take the opportunity to apologise to the babe for this misrepresentation of her remarks, and to further apologise for any distress or inconvenience that this may have caused. We trust that the matter is now closed.