How to Drive Like a Londoner*

Imagine you are in a car, wanting to turn left. Ahead of you is a cyclist, possibly not going very fast, definitely in a scary yellow jacket and clearly signalling a right turn. The right turn and the left turn are in about 10 yards, opposite each other

Do you:

a) Wait patiently for the cyclist to make her right turn, then make your left turn.

b) Wait for the cyclist to move out to the right to make her right turn, then come in on the inside and make your left turn.

c) overtake the cyclist anyway, cut across her bows, turn left in front of her and end up on the receiving end of some very unladylike language?

Answers on a postcard please.

This did at least distract me from my previous preoccupation which was wondering what the unidentified substance was that someone had left on my front wheel while my bike was locked up at Vauxhall…

* Pronounced ‘Arsehole’


6 responses to “How to Drive Like a Londoner*

  1. lol Still I would get as much pleasure out of riding your bike as you can these days.

    Soon you will have to insure the thing to at least 3rd party standards before you can legaly ride the thing, if the “funny farm people” have their way that is.

    Cant see it working at all, but then again, I never thought people would stand for the continuance of the TV Licence, or for that matter all the paperwork you need in order to drive a car.

    So what do I know?

  2. yeah I saw that. I don’t generally go fast enough to do much damage to anyone but myself …

  3. Gah. I used to cycle in London (in the days before I had one too many buses try to run me over). There is a dog-leg junction controlled by traffic lights close to my house, which I used to cross on a regular basis. On on particularly memorable occasion the lights changed and I cycled out onto the main road, needing to get into the right hand lane so that I could then turn right at the dog-leg. The woman in the car at the front of the queue, however, who was turning left but not going right at the dog-leg, was hellbent on overtaking me. When she realised that I was indicating right she hurled abuse at me for not knowing the rules of the road, conveniently forgetting the fact that she was trying to overtake at a junction…

  4. I got grief from a pedestrian the other day. I was cycling towards a pedestrian crossing and had the lights in my favour. He, the worse for beer, looked up at the traffic lights and then dragged his girlfriend out into the road in front of me. I looked at him in amazement as he shouted “why don’t you look at the F***ing lights?”. To which I felt compelled to answer: “You are looking at the wrong light you d***head”.

    That’s what I love about London … community.

  5. Moobs – that’s community as in ‘care in’ I suppose?

    Katja – I think all non-cycling motorists firmly believe that there is a ‘rule of the road’ that states all cyclists should cycle as far to the left as they can, preferably in the gutter, where they belong …

  6. Sometimes there is a problem with the spam letters when submitting a comment and it doesn’t always tell you very clearly. I’ve been caught that way myself a couple of times…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s