Speak Up Please

Sometimes sitting on the platform at Vauxhall in the mornings, I feel like Gary Larson’s dog. You know the one in the Far Side cartoon that’s sitting there listening to its owner telling it off. The owner is giving it some long speech about staying out of the garbage and all the dog hears is its own name. It’s not that SouthWest Trains have started addressing me by name, it’s just that we get the first bit of an announcement – which is promptly drowned out as a Eurostar comes screeching through behind us, then an older train clatters through coming the other way, while a fast train overtakes it and a stopping service pulls away from the next platform. SouthWest Trains may think they’ve delivered a comprehensive and informative statement on the weekend’s engineering festivities, but all we’ve heard is ‘This is a weekend travel update … SKREEE! SKREEE! SKREEE! clatter clatter clatter chug SKREEE! clatter clatter pip pip pip pip – Stand clear of the doors! Peep! Mind the doors! chug-clatter-SKREE! … or use the help point on the platform.’

One of these day’s I’m going to actually have to break down and use the help point on the platform, just to see what happens. If only I wasn’t so afraid of the Giant Yellow Ears

PS – following up yesterday’s post, I’ve just checked out the transcript of today’s live Q&A session on the SWT website with Mr. Palmer. I have to say I am (despite myself) impressed. He didn’t weed out even the most illiterate and offensive of rants, but answered them patiently and at length, and seemed as happy to discuss the arcana of various classes of rolling stock as to advise someone’s sister on the best platform for Woking. Maybe the guy really should start a blog …


5 responses to “Speak Up Please

  1. Sorry to be off topic but have a look at my entry today as it shows a possible travel alternative for you!

  2. Heh heh – that might be the answer for all of us …

  3. I don’t know how far it is from Vauxhall to Kew along the Thames but as it can do 20mph it seems to be the ideal solution. That apart it looks like a pretty snazzy houseboat with all mod cons.

  4. yes but then what would I blog about?

  5. And if you were given the choice? Anyway I’m sure that you’d see plenty to blog about on your daily trips up and down the river.

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