Poo-ee

Every morning I think that Vauxhall underpass can’t possibly smell any more strongly of wee, and every morning it surprises me with a whole new level of stinkiness. Getting my bike parked and secured every day has become an exercise in extended breath holding. And then in the evening, when you’d think the effects of the overnight deluge had perhaps had time to wear off it smells worse again – clearly London’s al fresco urinators continue to know no shame.

In fact this evening I got such a foul blast of it as I bent down to unlock the back wheel, that I began to wonder if it wasn’t coming from the bike itself. Yuck. This was reinforced by a further whiff as I cycled through the park. Gah. Gross. Eeuuw. Do you know how difficult it is to cycle without touching any part of your bike?  The thought of it plagued me all the way home. Fortunately, once I did get home, my high-tech wee-detect coating (aka centuries old mud on the frame) convinced me that I was in fact OK and my bike remained unsullied. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head. And probably neither can you …

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8 responses to “Poo-ee

  1. I’m very grateful that your blog doesn’t have smell effects!

  2. coming soon … never mind podcasting, I’m going to be an early adopter of smell-casting …

  3. apparently, even when people stop peeing somewhere, the smell remains in the concrete and no amount of bleaching will get rid of it, so it might not necessarily be uh, fresh. Bit like how the smell of catwee becomes impossible to remove from a house, even if you replace the floorboards, wallpaper, foundations, next door, in fact, raze it to the ground, rebuild the house from scratch and you can probably STILL smell the cat pee.

  4. Thanks for that. Just when I thought I’d finally got rid of it, and stood an airfreshener on it as well – the offending spot, that it, not the cat. Although……

  5. Ah – there goes my campaign to have Vaxhall Underpass completely razed to the ground to eliminate the smell. Shame. Maybe nuclear weapons would do the trick?

  6. I think they employ someone to wee in these places…NCP carparks definitely do. A little man on a scooter with task of pissing in the stairwells…I would be entirely in favour of nuking the Vauxhall underpass although I suspect this might effect the wider surroundings (would this matter?)

  7. ciggie – you may be right, in which case he’s also moonlighting for SouthWestTrains. The problem with my (otherwise excellent) nuking the underpass plan is that it might disrupt the trains on the viaduct over it. But I’m sure something could be worked out if the will was there …

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