A few modern-day urban commuting conundrums that I’ve been pondering recently:
a) When the train arrives at your stop, how long should you wait after the door button light goes on before shoving the person who’s just standing there blankly staring at it out of the way and pressing the button to open the door?
b) If the person just standing there is not intending to get off at that stop, but just likes blocking everybody who is, does that make it better or worse?
c) How bad of a day do you have had before violence is acceptable in these circumstances?
d) How about the people who stand idly at pedestrian crossings – sometimes for up to a week – waiting for the lights to change without actually pressing the button that tells the crossing they’re waiting? Is hanging good enough for them, or too good?
e) If the person in question is on their mobile phone, into which orifice should you be aiming to shove it?
I’m pretty sure the answer to a) is 10 seconds, but I’d appreciate your input on the rest of them.