Top Tips for Buskers

Actually just two tips, but I think you’ll agree they’re good ones:

1. If you’re a tone-deaf dreadlock’d white boy with less of a sense of rhythm than the jam-making section of the Little Ditchling WI, don’t do reggae

2. If you must do reggae, don’t start your busking career in the underpass leading into Vauxhall tube on the day the Victoria line closes for emergency engineering work. Quite apart from the fact that most of your potential clientele simply won’t be there, 99.9% of the people who are passing by will be the ones who just have to walk all the way up to the gates of a closed station to make sure that it’s not all some misguided practical joke on the part of the station staff, and will therefore be passing you twice, getting a double dose of your wailing. The other 0.1% will be the station staff themselves, who I can safely say will be having a fairly crap day at the office and probably won’t be in that generous a mood. Especially as they’ve been listening to Vivaldi in the mornings up to now.

I supposed I should have asked him if he could do this one… but then I really would be getting middle-aged


5 responses to “Top Tips for Buskers

  1. That’s two days running that you’ve mentioned middle age!

    Just make sure that you don’t make it three or I’ll really start to worry!

  2. What would be the best song for a busker to play? ‘Going Underground’ by the Jam or ‘Aint no stopping here now’ Luther Van Dross for days when it’s shut.

  3. Flighty – I know, it seems to be the theme of the week, I’m fighting against it!

    WSB – I’ve been trying and failing to think of something clever to add to this. ‘Ghost town’ for the engineering days? And ‘Manic Monday’? I’m no good at these sorts of games …

  4. shame i didnt see this post three years ago , maybe we could have spoke.

    So instead of slagging me off on the internet , here was your communication skills? i hope three years on and you’v leanred to talk with people instead of slag them off.

    lots of love from the white dread boy with no rythme or spelling skills for that matter. lol

  5. ooops. I expect I was in a hurry that day…

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