This has probably been filed under the wrong category, because I’m actually not in the least disgruntled despite waiting in most of the day on and off for our comfy new spare bed to be delivered.

It all started off so well, with the firm ringing to confirm the delivery date a couple of days in advance and then ringing in the morning to give us a target arrival time – so none of your British Gas style house arrest, when the engineer promises to come ‘between eight and one’, leaving you stuck for the entire morning (and then arriving during the three minutes you pop out for a paper, but that’s another story altogether). They duly arrived as advertised, brought down the bed and started assembling it, only to discover that they had brought the wrong bed. Profuse apologies all round, a quick call to the head office and a new bed was promised, they left the mattress and the drawers and disappeared off leaving me to arrange a new delivery time and get on with my day. Then I get another call. They have also left the wrong drawers (‘They’re the wrong drawers, Gromit!’) so can they come and pick them up. I go back to the house, get another call – they’re on their way – hang around in the garden in the sunshine – get another call – they’ve found the bed and are going to bring it with them. Half an hour later, bed has been delivered and assembled, cheery delivery men have apologised for the nineteenth time, correct drawers are here, wrong drawers and bed have gone, and I am waving my new best friends off as they drive into the sunset.

This episode has raised a lot of questions (like how on earth can you lose a bed?) but the main one is why I am so happy about it. Fundamentally, the company cocked up, not once but several times. But then they did a strange and unusual thing: they put it right without me having to do anything at all. And so here are Disgruntled Consumer’s rules on how to stuff it up big time and still maintain a happy customer:

1. Apologise early and apologise often. I don’t know why this is hard for companies to do. I suspect there’s some legal principle behind it, but mostly what people want is to hear someone say sorry. A lot. 

2. Ring up – that’s you ring them – and sort it out as soon as possible. If you cock up again, sort that out too. Apologise a bit more. If you reach the point where the customer is apologising back at you, you have probably hit the right level of apologeticness.

3. Do what you say you’re going to do and a bit more besides. Then apologise again. Then sort it out promptly. While apologising. I don’t think I can overstate this apologising part too much…

4. Don’t allow even your most cynical of staff to try and imply that it is somehow the customer’s fault that you have cocked up. If you hear one of your staff trying to do this, cheerfully contradict them. If they are hinting that the customer might have forgotten what she ordered or might be living in an inconvenient part of London or be a little unreasonable in not wanting to take a whole week off waiting in for delivery men, overrule them (and then apologise). Offer them something they haven’t even dreamt of instead, like evening delivery. I didn’t even know that was legal …

5. Have insanely cheerful (but apologetic) delivery men. Oh, and try and cock up on a gorgeous day in May when everybody is happy anyway. That helps a lot.

So there you have it. British Gas, are you listening?

* you know I only choose these titles to attract unsavoury Google hits


10 responses to “Bedswapping*

  1. A brilliant entry and as for the title…!
    It doesn’t take much to put matters right so why is it that so many companies don’t(or can’t).

  2. I suspect it’s because the people sorting it out are badly paid and don’t give a stuff. It’s no coincidence that this was a small, fairly local company…

  3. I find that such companies are often the best ones to deal with.

  4. What like independent bookshops and hardware shops, you mean?

  5. Well yes now you come to mention it!
    By the way I’ve sold a few copies of the book, apart from the one I bought and am reading at present. I know which one is you but won’t mention it. I’ll let you know when I do a review on my blog.

  6. wow, you’re selling copies! Shame I don’t get any of the money … yes do please let me know when you’ve reviewed it … there might be another one soon …

  7. Those exact same delivery men brought me my mattress! Their van broke down on the north circular. They were lovely.

  8. Did you bribe them with tea? I find that helps, too

  9. The last female customer had plied them with tea and cakes and they were stuffed.

  10. ah yes, cakes. Even better than tea for bribery …

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s