Teenage Crush

What’s worse than having three teenagers drinking beer in the three-by-two seats opposite you on the way home? Answer, four teenagers, the female one having perched herself winningly on the knee of the least freakish and pizza-faced of the males. (sample conversation: ‘did you get my message?’ ‘nah, me phone’s off just tell me.’ ‘Look it’ll be in my out box I’ll just show it to you.’ OK, so those squeaky voices sound painful, but have they really lost most of their powers of speech?)

And what’s worse than that? when they lose track of one of their cans of beer and start groping about under the seat for it, with their dandruffy heads practically in your lap. And you realise while they are doing this that you have reached the age of teenage invisibility – too young yet to be feasibly one of their parents (except on certain selected council estates), yet too old to be considered as anything other than an inanimate object to be manoeuvred around when hanging out with their friends…

Anyway, I thought I might be getting into work on a rusty old train this morning, or even in a handcart, having half heard a story on the radio about SouthWest trains having to withdraw their rolling stock due to the automated train systems having letters too small by 3mm for the latest disability regulations. However my train, complete with dot-matrix display was as shiny and new as ever and having followed up the story I found it’s only a few trains and they were going in six months anyway. There may have been more but I have a rule: I never read past the point where someone says ‘it’s political correctness gone mad’ in any story. I find my blood pressure prefers it that way.

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5 responses to “Teenage Crush

  1. That’s an excellent guideline – I’m sure your blood pressure thanks you. I can practically hear mine clamouring for me to adopt it too.

  2. It took me a long while to work it out but now I have I have saved an awful lot of time spent ranting and foaming at the mouth. And if you can hear your blood pressure, I think it’s a very bad sign and you should adopt it immediately …

  3. Have a good weekend. Mine will include reading ‘Don’t Know A Good Thing’.

  4. Ooooh! I hope you enjoy it.

  5. I’m sure I will, and of course I do know which story is yours. I won’t tell though!

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