Registration’s What I Need

A long time ago – and a very long time ago in internet time – I blogged about registering my oyster card. I filled in the form and handed it in, I waited a couple of weeks, I set up my online account and then I blithely went down to Vauxhall to buy myself a monthly season ticket, only to be told my card wasn’t registered. I got a weekly ticket, I waited, I tried again. Same result. A few weeks passed, then a few months. I got the odd email warning me about line closures, but I still couldn’t buy a monthly ticket. Finally, realising that buying a ticket every week was not only costing me money, it was costing me time and inconvenience, I tried again. I had a chat with the nice man at the ticket office in Kennington (apologies to those people in the queue behind me), and I filled in the form, and I waited. Same result.

So last night I decided to harness the power of the internet. I went on to TfL’s site and I went to ‘Ask Oyster’ and I tried to log in using the account that I had set up originally, which didn’t work. After a bit of headscratching and having them emailing me my account details I realised that I didn’t have an account with Ask Oyster, I had an account with the Oyster On Line Shop, so I logged into that, discovered (surprise surprise) that my card still wasn’t registered. I looked around for some more information, thinking that perhaps there was some other form of registration than filling in the ‘register your oyster card’ form and handing it in, and I followed a link back to the ‘Ask Oyster’ site, where I found a link where I could email oyster (I’d rather email a person than a bivalve, but I suppose they try and keep these things cuddly) with my question. Which I did. Whereupon it asked me to log in or create an account. Which (after some rather desperate scratching around to see if there was another way) I did. So now I have two accounts: An ‘Ask Oyster’ account and a ‘Pay Oyster’ account, yet still no ‘Get a reasonable length of Season ticket on Oyster’ account that I could see. I have also filled in two separate forms for one card, something that worries me a little. It is exactly that kind of behaviour that causes automated systems of very little brain to get terminally confused (Amazon’s wish list held me in a similar loop for three days after I had the temerity to move house) and become impossible to disentangle without talking to a human, as opposed to a bivalve. But perhaps I’m being harsh.

This morning, of course, I got stuck behind possibly the slowest ever user of an Oyster card machine who would have been there probably indefinitely if I hadn’t shown him the slot to put his bank card into. I need to be able to buy a monthly ticket, and I need it now. They have promised me a response in two days. If you see someone sitting on the train slowly going purple from lack of oxygen, that’ll be me, holding my breath.

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6 responses to “Registration’s What I Need

  1. Get a new Oyster Card and when you buy it fill in the form and register it then. It would cost you �3 just now, but at least it’ll save you time, inconvenience and money in the long run

  2. Up here where Men are Men and sheep on the Pill-an Oyster means just that: juicy, succulent and really quite cheap (by Lunnon standards) The driver of the No 32bus, if offered an Oyster card, would be very disapointed, and after 30 minutes for reflection, very angry even if there is an ‘r’ in the monthg

  3. Olivia – that would then be our fifth … (could always register one of the new ones I suppose)
    Huttonian – what even a registered one?

  4. update: the email came back. Suggestion? try, try again. Or take up Olivia’s suggestion and get a new oyster card …

  5. Oh dear! I fear I might have worked in Customer Services too long.

  6. you’re not a bivalve, are you?

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