Another day, another faintly disturbing email from London Underground – this time from one Bob Thorogood, purporting to be the general manager of the District Line, letting me know personally that bits of the Silverlink and District Line will be closed for nine days starting on April 1st. He’s signed it and decorated it with a little animated pneumatic drill and everything. While not as grovelling as the one I got when the Northern Line was closed it’s nice to know they still care, although if they read the blog more carefully they’d know I haven’t used that line for several months now. I suppose this is all down to the fact that my oyster card while not, apparently, being registered in the real world (i.e. I can’t put a monthly season card on it) does somehow carry on a parallel cyberspace existence (perhaps it has its own blog?) where it is registered on the internet, entitling me to apologetic emails from Bob and his friends.
Bob (He did address me formally as Ms Commuter, but I feel I know him already) also threw in a helpful link to this leaflet with alternative travel arrangements such as a ‘replacement bus service’ (surely this is an oxymoron up there with ‘military intelligence’ – they’re telling you to allow ‘up to 30 minutes extra’ for an ordinarily 10 minute journey. What kind of a replacement is that?) and using SouthWest trains. Unfortunately, SouthWest Trains, getting into the swing of things, will also be having engineering works on the Richmond line on both affected weekends, and, as a special bonus, the Waterloo and City line will be closing that week too. So, fancy a trip out west on April Fools day? Think again. West London is closed. Please try later.