Uncle Tom Cobbley and All

Turning onto Kennington Road this morning I found I’d hit one of those mysterious gaps in the traffic (some combination of the congestion charge and traffic light phasing) that meant there was absolutely nothing on the road in either direction as far as the eye could see. Curiously, there were no pedestrians about either – it was just me and my bike. And the little green man. Because, despite the lack of pedestrians, someone had pressed the button and the light on the crossing was red. Mindful of my pledge, I duly stopped and waited and wondered – if a bike stops for red and there’s nobody around, does anybody actually care?

Still, as I pondered this and other philosophical conundra I did have time to notice a curious sensation on my cheek (left upper) – warmth. As in sunshine. As in spring. Which was fortunate because my train was late this evening, giving me an extra six minutes to enjoy the sensation of not getting frostbite while standing outside. This, according to the guard at Kew Bridge, was due to a passenger activating the alarm. By the time we got to Barnes, the story had grown with the telling and it was due to a passenger activating the alarm at Hounslow and a delayed train in front of ours. By Clapham Junction the guard had added the further supplementary excuse that when the passenger alarm is activated they have to go and investigate before they can move off again, and the announcements were now longer than the original delay. Sadly, I got off at Vauxhall before he could add in existential angst, wrong kind of snow or extreme weather conditions to the roll call of excuses. There’s an irritating folk song in there somewhere if only I could be bothered to write it…

Advertisements

9 responses to “Uncle Tom Cobbley and All

  1. It’s eerie when that happens. Reminds me of several sci-fi films.
    By lunchtime it was very pleasant out. I hope that you made the most of it. The forecast is a lot milder, but much wetter.

  2. Especially with the presence of the little green man … *cue twilight zone music*

  3. Yes it is the one that starts ‘There is a Guard on our train, coming round..*

  4. Anybody want to finish it off?

  5. Well done you for stopping at the red light! I do exactly the same thing as we’d be complete hypocrites if we didn’t. I feel a bit of a dickhead at the time but fortunately I am a dickhead so that’s alright.
    All folk songs by the way usually contain lyrics such as ‘..and she sailed out of Liverpool never to return with a hey nonny nonny’ which could be easily adapted.

  6. yes, I managed to feel smug and a bit of an arse, all at the same time… not bad for a Thursday morning

  7. Village Idiot. Thans for the pront:
    There’s a purser on the boat
    also going around
    “with a hey noony nonny
    who nicked all the poor passengers monny.
    His name is John Prescott
    He is deputy PM and if you ask him
    what he spent it on
    he wil brag : A jag
    and another Jag
    Hey nonny nonny
    Another guy’s monny
    And an undeclared 14 Million Pound Loan
    So Oh Dear
    He can now bought himself the right to sit in the Lords as
    The Wigan Peer (enough, please, ED)

  8. Village Idiot. Thanks for the pront:
    There’s a purser on the boat
    also going around
    “with a hey nonny nonny
    who nicked all the poor passengers monny.
    His name is John Prescott
    He is deputy PM and if you ask him
    what he spent it on
    he will brag : A Jag
    and a second Jag
    Hey nonny nonny. Hurrah for
    Another guy’s monny
    And an undeclared 14 Million Pound Loan
    So Oh Dear
    He can now bought himself the right to sit in the Lords as
    The Wigan Peer (enough, please, ED)

  9. Indeed…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s