Guardian Smut

Last summer (no, bear with me, it is relevant to today’s journey) I ended up in Covent Garden having set out dressed rather too optimistically for the weather, shopping for something to ward off hypothermia. I ended up with a nice zip-up top in crisp white cotton which was greeted with derision by the other half (let’s just put it this way, my last Christmas present from my mother-in-law, who knows me rather too well, boasted a label declaring it had a ‘stain resist’ finish). So last week I pre-emptively dyed it coffee-coloured (it was a toss up between that and burgundy) and feeling rather pleased with this domestic triumph, wore it into work this morning. Where I discovered that the Guardian, fancy new printing presses or no fancy new printing presses, still smears black smudges over everything it touches. And coffee-coloured tops are no defence against this (neither are they proof against biro ink, but that’s another story).

I blame the government. Or Transport For London. Or whoever it was who put out that weasely leaflet about winter cycling claiming that commuters cycling in London only got rained on 12 times a year without pointing out that that might be because on the other 353 days of the year they listened to the weather forecast and got the bus instead. Come winter or summer, one thing is guaranteed – if I heard the forecast at all I have forgotten it by the time I set off in the morning. So I get wet and my paper gets wet and the end result is the sports headlines imprinted in mirror writing across my front.

Black dye, anyone?

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6 responses to “Guardian Smut

  1. So that’s why black dye outsells all the other colours put together!

  2. I always thought it was because it _was_ all the other colours put together…

  3. Sorry you’re right and I’ve edited my comment. I’m not having a very good 20six evening yet again.

  4. It’s very slow today … that’s half the problem

  5. Does that mean that the driver in front can read the day’s headlines from your shirt in his rear view mirror?

  6. Well it would if they ever looked in their rear view mirrors

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