The Guardian had a nice article in its G2 section yesterday about cycling training and how even the most battle-hardened London cyclist might have something to learn. The key, apparently, is not to treat the double-yellow lines as a tiny little cycle lane, but to keep out from the kerb and look round frequently so the cars behind you know you know they’re there. This way you can, apparently, manipulate the traffic into driving more safely.

All good stuff and I would book my own place pronto were it not for the fact that I know I’d never get past the basic stage of checking your bike is roadworthy. So in the mean time I’m going to attempt the following, less advanced, manipulations of my own:

Manipulating my bike into treating my gear changes as a command, rather than a request which it takes into due consideration and acts upon at a random time of its own choosing, usually at the worst possible moment to find you’ve suddenly gone up a gear.

Manipulating my still-cricked neck into turning around far enough that I can look behind me, letting the driver following me know that yes, I do know he’s there and am not merely dawdling along in a world of my own and that no, I won’t be pulling over into the nearest gutter or parked car just for his convenience.

And finally, manipulating my brain into remembering to remind my hands to pick up my bike bag so I don’t get to Vauxhall sans lights, sans high-vis jacket and sans gloves – in fact sans everything except the sinking feeling that I might have brought the entire SouthWest Trains network to a halt in a security alert* and have to walk home in humiliation, leaving the bike to the tender mercies of the Vauxhall night fauna.

Back to school for me.

*before you send in the hate mail, it was actually at work


2 responses to “Manipulation

  1. Would never send in hate mail… South West would probably still use it as an excuse though, seeing as they have started dreaming them up.
    We were apparently stuck behind a defective Eurostar at Vauxhall… Never know Vauxhall was a Eurostar stop and the defective train camouflaged very well as an older SW train….

  2. funny, it was ’emergency rail work’ outside vauxhall yesterday evening according to the guard on our train. No doubt repairing the rails broken by the weight of a Eurostar wearing a SWT costume…

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