White Van Man vs. Little Green Man

It’s not often someone tries to kill you on your way to work. Ok, so technically it wasn’t me he was trying to kill (any pedestrian would have done) and if you want to be really picky he wasn’t actually trying to kill me – he was just driving as though he was. But still. Had I been a few seconds slower I’d have been just as dead as if he was trying. And anyway, it makes for a dramatic opening.

There I was blamelessly crossing at the Kew Bridge junction, the green man on my side, my newspaper in my hand having just finished reading this article* when a white van driver decided to turn left from the right turn lane. This meant that not only was he running a red light on a pedestrian crossing with actual pedestrians crossing on it but he was also coming from a completely unexpected angle and doing a completely illegal manouever. I didn’t have the presence of mind to take his number or thump the side of the van or indeed do anything but leap onto the safety of the traffic island but I did give him an extremely hard stare, which would have definitely told him had he noticed it. But on fact he was completely oblivious  – of my presence, of the fact he’d even done anything wrong, indeed of everything as far as I could tell which was the worst part of all. If you’re going to mow me down in my prime you could at least be paying attention while you do it. Back to school for you, matey.

* Not while walking, of course. Now that would be dangerous


4 responses to “White Van Man vs. Little Green Man

  1. Those buggery WVM – they’re all over the place, you know! His brother once tried to attach me to his fender as an ornament!….ella

  2. all over the place is right – all over the pavement half the time…

  3. How do I get in touch with you by e mail?

  4. as long as you’re not trying to sell me viagra, click on ‘more about me’ on the top right hand corner and then click on the ‘send me an email’ link on that page

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