Anybody know what those funny black-and-white stripes across the road mean? With the flashing orange ball on a stick? No? Nobody? Ah – you sir, in the chopped and lowered pimped black Mercedes with the tinted windows – yes, that’s right, it means you bring your vehicle to a halt and sit there with your suspension throbbing gently in time to your bass speakers while the pedestrian crosses all the way across the road before starting up again. And you, sir, in the taxi, yes that’s right, you stop as the pedestrian looks like they want to cross the road, not after they’ve taken their life in your hands and stepped out in front of you.
The rest of you have failed. You, young lad in the red Astra doing sixty in a built up area, it does not mean dropping a gear from fifth to fourth and swerving past the pedestrian on the inside with a screech of tyres. You, sir – elderly gent in the blue Rolls Royce, it does not mean driving over it at a steady 20 mph looking neither to right nor left, nor in your rear view mirror at the two fingers the pedestrian has just given you from the safety of the pavement. And you, madam, in the SUV with the three squabbling brats, it does not mean taking your eyes off the quarrel the back seat only just in time to avoid slamming into the rear of the car that has stopped for the pedestrian, the pedestrian you would have seen had you been looking at the road in the direction you were going.
Please leave your car keys at the door as you go out. You will be issued with a pair of comfortable walking shoes, an A to Z and a generous life insurance policy.
If you try using a zebra crossing as they ought to be used, you will be needing it.