What’s more annoying…

… than having some computer generated voice apologise to you for cancelling your train?

Answer: not having some computer generated voice apologise to you for cancelling your train. And cancelling it anyway. This morning the bossy woman was too busy keeping the three or four passengers on the eastbound platform up to date with the minute-by-minute changes in the lateness, destination changes and cancellation status of their trains that she forgot to mention to the waiting hordes on the westbound platfrom the fact that the 7:15 Richmond service was lost, stolen or strayed, or had simply snuck through the station in stealth mode without anyone noticing.

And what’s more annoying than that?

Answer: when the next train does arrive, crammed to the rafters with refugees from the earlier train, to find that – two-thirds of the way down the aisle on the carriage I was trying to get on – there was an invisible elephant. Or perhaps a convention of circus midgets too short for their heads to show above the seats. Or maybe it was a mysterious force field that was preventing the woman who was standing blocking the apparently empty aisle from moving up so that people could get on the train and breathe at the same time.

I tried asking. I tried pleading. There was no way she was moving, even when everyone else had crammed up right beside her. I was too far away to try barging past her, and pointed glances at the acres of space behind her just bounced off the carapace of her indifference and/or stupidity. Nobody else said a word (unlike the guy who got on the almost equally crowded train this evening and yelled ‘Oi you lot, move down. Move it! Move!’ I just don’t have the brawn or the lung power to get away with that – but it worked). At Highbury, when so many people got off I almost got dragged off with them by the strap of my bag – she finally lumbered off taking her invisible elephant with her and we all got to breathe again.

Now must get on and post in time to watch the last over …

Total time wasted today: 31 minutes
Total time wasted to date: 9 hours 4 minutes


6 responses to “What’s more annoying…

  1. But then moving down could mean that she would lose the bar she was holding onto and therefore, to avoid slipping in that wicket-keeper-y way, she decided to let people walk past her?

  2. You didn’t see how wide she was (aargh enough cricket) – nobody was getting past her. And besides, when Silverlink has cancelled a train there’s no need to hold on to anything, the other bodies crammed around you will keep you upright.

  3. Well they played well today and to think of it, she did too!

  4. It does depend how the request to move down is delivered. If someone shouts down their *order* to move down the carriage then I aint moving and they’ll find that only the frail, weak and elderly will.
    If they ask politely then people move. Saying “Oi you lot, move down” isn’t going to make me think I’d love to do this chap a favour.

  5. you obviously travel on politer trains than I do – the theory was tested again this evening: the polite request to move down was ignored, the barked order worked (not me doing the barking, I hasten to add).
    Personally I don’t wait to be asked, I just move down. If I can I squeeze past any aisle blockers and lean against the carriage door. It’s way less crowded down there anyway…

  6. I suppose it’s just the way I react to people throwing out their orders without any ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. I get as far down anyway too, because there’s always one who dives on as the doors are closing and immediately halves your personal space for the whole journey.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s