Zonked

I don’t quite know what was going on with my head this morning. I think I woke up too early, and then started to go back to sleep just as 6:15 came around and the part of my brain that both always knows what time it is and cares about whether I should get up or not* rudely jerked me awake. Although, and I don’t know about you lot, but when I’ve had to get up in these circumstances, ‘awake’ is too strong a word. ‘Upright’ probably puts it better. Should any clever scientists manage to look inside my brain, they’d probably see nothing but a blue screen and the instruction ‘press ctrl-alt-delete to continue’. One shower later, I had booted up into the mental equivalent of ‘safe mode’ and was able to manage one simple thought at a time (sock. on foot. Other sock. on other foot.). Dazedly, having dressed and gathered my stuff, I set off on my bike.

So here’s the thing. Normally even the short ride to Vauxhall is something I need to be fully alert for. Pedestrians, cars, other cyclists, plumber’s vans, pigeons – every single one of them is apparently out to get the lone cyclist and can be relied upon to do anything at any time. Generally, despite maintaining a heightened state of zen alertness, I still manage to be surprised and occasionally endangered every single trip. Yet this morning, when the only coherent thought I could manage to muster was ‘I wonder what it is I’ve forgotten?’**, for the first time ever, every other road user INCLUDING the plumber’s vans, gave me plenty of space, even overtaking at a respectful distance. Perhaps it’s true that the cars really do leave more room for wobbly looking cyclists. If you really want to be safe on your bike, never mind wearing a helmet, don’t even bother to wear your brain…

*No, I have no idea, and I’m not sure I want it either. I’d happily swap it for a sense of direction, or maybe the ability to think about what I’m going to say before I open my mouth. Any offers?

**My bike lock, as it happens.

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5 responses to “Zonked

  1. Do you find that there are a suicidal sub-set of pigeons? They’ll dawdle along on two feet then fly up at you when logic says they shouldn’t? Or they’ll fly straight across your line of vision making you involuntarily flinch?

    One did this to me over the weekend and even though I had the visor down I ‘ducked’ (rough description) to avoid the bloody thing.

  2. subset? They’re all like that…

  3. It wasn’t a cold shower then!
    Did you just leave the bike unlocked?

  4. Half unlocked. I had the one for my back wheel, but not the one for my front. Fortunately both wheels were in place when I returned, but Vauxhall is definitely a two-lock problem

  5. Your boring scribblings narly put me in a coma :(

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